Wednesday, September 23, 2009

At The Hospital


The usual array of evident concern covered faces that people wear to such a place as this. Passing through the automatic doorway that leads into the hospital. Loud, creaky double doors at that, with a stopping station between them for cleansing of the hands. Two sets of double doors you see. One leading in and the other out. I mused alone, "Wouldn't it be sensible to have a similar station adjacent for cleansing one's spirit as they entered." An impossible request I'm sure yet plausible to me. Being here we are in a place where life is both found and lost. Pain and suffering accompanied by joy and the "miracle itself"! Life... New born babies.

In line for a coffee with my wife. I observed the obscured intricacies of the tiny slice of the world now presented before me. As I often do. I’m a natural to Wanderlust. I considered if such musing is reason to seek out a diagnosis that could lead to my own hospitalization. Mind you in a very different sort of medical facility. I gazed around as I moved slowly through the roped off coffee line. There was no clear indication of which point to enter as this roped line (like one’s at movie theaters) simply ran parallel to the wall and counter. Certain to illicit strange behavior among the distraught and jubilant. The lost and the found.

Yes indeed, a good medley of folks, people, souls, denizens and all the other misfits, fit-ins and mortals were present and milling about. Standing around. Shuffling out of step, discussing their affairs. Some engrossed in the atmosphere and some sadly gazing off into the nowhere. Heads up, eyes down. Hands in pockets, arms out stretched. Postures varied in presentation, like petals on flowers arranged in bouquets. At the finest shops along “Heaven’s Way”. Surely, most of them first time wanderers to this fine modern medical facility. Most unsure of which direction to pursue in order to fulfill their purpose for being here. Well…. So I mused!

Knowing very well where to go and what to do in this particular hospital I was feeling needless as I stood there quietly, in line with my wife. Waiting for my turn to order coffee. I’ve been coming here now for just over 3 weeks. Weeks that seemed like they would never pass yet now they are behind me. Oh yeh….. Wow!! I usually wander off the story about here. You know, a tidy slick clichéd tangent about how time flies. Stops for no one you know. But hey….. some other time.

Anyways, an older woman of say, oh... about 75 or so suddenly surfaced from the milling about going on around me. Separated and safe from it all in my stationary yet slowly plodding along, roped off coffee line I recognized confusion. An illegality of sorts as she arranged herself near the front of the line. The uncertainty of what and how draping her face. Years of life in those soft eyes. Places and people I wish I could examine and understand somewhat. In another world I would ponder quietly with her. Come to know a "tale" untold. Go to some other place entirely not belonging to me! Not mine to even ponder or "muse" upon.

But... ah, well..... Oh yeah. Okay. Anyways, she looked up and down. Left and right. Fidgeting with a slight quiver, with a hope of meeting helpful eyes. Someone would surely assist in politeness and procedure. Common courtesy... right? I may have neglected to mention but we're speaking of a frail, petite and elderly woman here. Likely, disregarding a minding family's orders to not go out without her walker. My thirsty comrades ahead of me would gladly assist... surely?

I didn't give it a second thought. My drifting mind already finding refuge in counting multiple stacked configurations of coffee cups. My hand in pocket was blindly sorting coins into possible coffee purchase scenarios when my mental meandering was shaken. Startled I looked quickly to my wife. Eager yet apprehensive for her reaction.

Beautiful my wife. Petite in her own right but not small. Healthy.... openly vibrant with a charismatic zing on the fringes of her demeanor. Barely 3 weeks removed from the grand entrance into this world of delivering a sweet baby girl at this very hospital. She was at full strength again. Never one to look away if you know what I mean? Never lost in pretending not to see. Or in this particular case. Hear!

"What an asshole", she squeezed my arm and stepped up beside me."Can you fucking believe it? Wow! It was strangely disturbing. Some guy, no... some gruesome loser had moved up to meet this sweet-frail old woman (that's what we'll call her). He stood firmly. Towering only a breath away from the “sweet-frail old woman” he had raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. You see, he stood one away from being next up for coffee. Ghoul of a hand on her he muttered without thought or concern. So it seemed to me. Unashamed of his beligerent behavior he spoke of time. Time! …..

To Be Continued…

"A World Away"


Awake at night from a lucid dream.

There’s glowing moons and shadows from trees.

Purple skies drop down on you.

They wrap you up and break you in two.

While jokers dance around your heart.

They’re tying knots and throwing darts.

Just roaming halls of anywhere.

You’re bound in time… so lost in there.


And morning is always a world away!


Walking through a lost parking lot.

With holes in walls from heaven lost.

Hanging from a poison line.

You hear violins in construction wires.

And motels loom from dimes and doom.

Cuz heavens full there’s no more room.

Then the rain flowers begin to fall.

You forget to run… but learn to crawl.


And heaven is always a world away!


Asleep at day in a starry world.

Burning sun and a red orange swirl.

A speeding train chases you.

It tracks you down and pulls you through.

Looming ghosts inside the store.

Buy nothing but get you more.

So stop and go from over there.

You’re caught inside… so lost in there.


And dreaming is always a world away!


Martial law and concrete walls have drifting eyes in bottles and malls.

Unleashing winds that blow you away it moves without showing the way.

And smiling streets that close for play are empty now just wasting away.

You’re left to hide your hopes of dawn to freeze the day cuz it’s so long.


And dying is always a world away!

Monday, September 14, 2009

"Get Out"


Am I centurion or millennium bound?
Gracefully standing before falling down.
And am I viscous for counting myself out?
Sparkling and gleaming like a diamond no doubt.

And if I could hear sounds that whisper through my shouts.
I would find a safety line and certainly climb out.
And if I could feel life piercing through my heart.
I think I'd have to look away and hope to just get out

Soon in time I'll get away.
And in my mind it'll be okay.
I'll find the strength that takes me away.
And get out!

I'll go exterior and turn everything inside out.
Knowing my perimeters are simply circling 'round.
And then I'll fixate on a dark and gloomy crowd.
Rinsing off the raindrops that are always falling down.

And if I could see all the hurricanes in flowers.
I would swallow all my lies and finally choke them down.
And then in a tear drop I would wipe away my smile.
Washing all my pain away and hope to just get out.

Soon in time I'll get away.
And in my mind it'll be okay.
I'll find the strength that takes me away.
And get out!

Am I adjourning like a jury to wore down?
Judging to quickly and ruling myself out.
And am I sickened when my hands are tied?
Believing in freedom of views before I choose to hide.

And if I should find love sailing within the horizon I found.
Drifting deep and way beyond the blurry world of frowns.
I think that I would wonder while tearing down my front.
Should I cast away my weary eyes and choose to just get out?

Soon in time I'll get away.
And in my mind it'll be okay.
I'll find the strength that takes me away.
And get out!
Get out!